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I want to thank you for shining your light on me. It has been on my mind all week! I had to share it with you.
I hope you love it…It should if nothing else make you dance. As a single girl in a world full of love. I think that we as women don’t feel complete without a man, but that is a story for another day.
Today, we dance.
Who don’t need to dance?
Chicago winter is a beast. It is even worse on your hair. Your winter beauty regime better be ready to take you all the way until May. Here is the Dbabetta’s Winter Hair Guide. A fellow natural hair girl asked what people do in the winter with their natural hair? Surely we couldn’t all be washing and going everyday in the cold. Here is the Dbabetta Winter Haircare Guide.
I guess, I had grown accustom to the mild winters that we’ve experienced since 90s. Well guess who’s bizack. Old Man Winter. The Hawk. The Windy City. This winter has been so bad I am even wearing snow pants. I had to break down, but honestly it was the best $29.99 I’ve ever spent. I don’t believe in being cold. I never have. I get sick just listening to someone sick on the phone. So there is no way I am going out like that. But the super cold winter and wind, does a number on your beauty regime. Your hair seems to be dryer, you skin is flakier than Grand’s Biscuits and your lips are so chapped they might bleed if you try to smile at your local barista. The coldest day was a wind chill of 50 below zero. And in that type of weather the heat is running at a warm 75 degrees all day long. That kind of consistent heat will turn grapes into raisins. I try to drink as much water as I can. It helps quench your thirsty soul from the inside out.
The products that will get you through the rest of winter. We get six more weeks since that damn ground hog saw his shadow. Here is my beauty survival kit.
For Your Natural Hair!
1. I have been natural hair don’t care for a little over a year now. I have been natural before, but that time I was faithful to my weekly blowouts. I lived in the salon and the Egyptian who owned and operated it blew my hair like their life depended on it. This time around I am all natural and wearing my natural curls. I have always been a person who oscillates between straight and curly usually six months straight and six months curly. The fall is when I would make my transition to straight until about May. This is the first winter I’ve been curly straight through (get it).
There are days my scalp it so dry you could start a forest fire in it. Wearing hats don’t help as they strip every ounce of moisture from your head. I have been washing with Miss Jessie’s Cream de la Curls. I love that it doesn’t suds up. Which at first bothered me, but then I read the bottle. The suds strip your hair of natural oils. Your hair isn’t that plate in the sink. It needs the oils it naturally produces to keep your hair healthy. I like it. continue…
This week Beyonce gave me clarity on Womanhood, Wifehood, and Motherhood.
I downloaded the album on itunes early Friday morning. I was ready for some feel good music, but what I got was a wake up call. Song after song, lyric after lyric Beyonce told me about myself. I hadn’t taken into consideration many of the lessons she was about to school me on. She gave me clarity on three major topics of my life. Things that I reflect on from time to time, but this time of year I am always thinking about my year as a whole and what could have been better and what I accomplished. This year I hit some professional milestones, while I had some personal failures as I see them. Every lesson is a blessing.
Beyonce on Womanhood
The debate over the last six days has been on everything from Beyonce being a feminist to her being a woman basher for using the word bitch (gasp). I don’t subscribe to the Gloria Steinem newsletter, but I believe women are capable of some powerful ish when we put our minds to it.
Yet sometimes our emotions get the best of us. And no matter how strong, mighty, powerful, and ambitious we are we still need the validation from the people we love the most. In her song Jealous, Beyonce hits this complexity square on the head. Lyrics that talked about making her man (husband) Jealous. That as a wife she’s never broke a promise, but that she is often jealous because of the lack of respect. After cooking half naked (ouch: four words: hot grease bare skin).
I would be angry as hell also that he didn’t come home. Call. Check in. Be excited to rush home to partake in the meal I just slaved over, again NAKED.
Beyonce also knows that it is okay to be a woman. A curvy woman who has sexual needs. There are a lot of lyrics and euphemisms for sex in the album. There were lots of ass shots (more than I needed), but I get it. As American women we are often shamed for riding the line between wanting to be sexy and showing everything and being covered and not feel sexy in our own skin. This is a hell we put each other in.
So I give a high five for a woman who is willing and ready to show off her bad ass body. Trust if that was my body. Booty shots would fill my Instagram also. You have been warned.
Beyonce on Wifehood
If you did not know. I was a wife once. I have been divorced for a few years now. Beyonce taught me I needed to be a better wife. I know I was a great wife, but my wifehood was plagued with issues. A husband wants you to surrender to his needs. I was never really good at that. A husband needs the same sex kitten you were before kids spit up on your favorite work skirt. I started this blog almost 3 year ago because I was an unhappy wife. Working my ass off. Coming home to a lot of hurt, turmoil, and resentment. The last thing I wanted to do was be his play thang. This is me being honest. That was on me. In this album Beyonce pulls back the curtain on her inner Mrs. Carter freak in Rocket. Hey let your freak flag fly with your husband. Most chicks is letting it fly with every random they can think of. There aren’t any books that help you navigate this path. The transition from girlfriend to wife is difficult journey and it is complex and scary. Partition is all about making that husband happy. The chorus tells the story of how she just wants to be the kind of girl he likes. That what he is searching for is right at home. No need to go elsewhere.
Beyonce on Motherhood
You have to really listen. Beyonce lyrically reveals that it isn’t all love and sex in the car. There are some rough spots to her storied life with Mr. Carter. In the song Mine, she says that there is talk of separation and that she hasn’t felt the same since having the baby.
God, life will change you. Children are a blessing. But no matter how much money you have, you are stressed out by the dramatic changes that happen in your life when you have a baby. In her song Heaven Beyonce also tells the story of her miscarriage. I learned I was pregnant with babygirl after having a dramatic miscarriage of her twin. I did not know I was even pregnant. That period in my life was immediately changed. One day it was just me and the next I lost one of the twins I was carrying. It will change you. It will test you. It will challenge your faith in God. Beyonce talks about how that time in her life was very difficult. She taught me that it is about the joy that one baby brings and the bittersweet lost of the child who was needed in heaven. Your motherhood is in direct competition with your marriage. Your relationship with the man who gave you this life altering experience also doesn’t fully understand what is different with you because he didn’t experience the physical life change that women experience daily. The constant reminder that our lives will never be the same again.
Becoming a mother focused me more than anything I have ever experienced. I wanted to show my daughter that I was more than just a wife. I had ambition and accomplished more than changing my last name.
Beyonce gave me clarity on Womanhood, Wifehood, and Motherhood. She isn’t afraid to be sexy. She lyrically shares the complexity of being a modern woman. For all of that I thank you Beyonce. It was totally worth the $15.99 for this therapy session.
Nelson Mandela’s words about triumph over fear.
I was sadden by the news of Nelson Mandela’s death yesterday. The world lost one of the last great world leaders who led with love. Not fear. Who is the epitome of peace and the personification of forgiveness. My daughter said when her teacher told the class the news. Her and BFF cried in class. She said they were sad. I understood.
My sadness is temporary, I know his legacy will live forever in all of us. I say US not just as brown skin faces, but the multitudes of faces that need an example of a life well lived for something more than ourselves.
We are more than our Selfies
Just this past weekend I started reflecting on this year as a blogger. I have had so many opportunities to be thankful. Someone said “You have been blessed.” My response was, I sure have. There have been so many opportunities where I was afraid of my next steps. The next day. Not sleeping at night. Feeling low, and unsure of what I was creating. The life I have been building for myself and the legacy I am teaching my little ones. We are more than just our Selfies on Instagram. It is and is not who we are. We are the living testimony of men and women also with brown faces who sacrificed all they had to give us what we so often take for granted.
Are your fears like Shadows?
They can slow down our steps. Our fears are our friend and our enemy. If you have no fear then you will create without passion. Fear keeps your work honest. Too much fear and you will not accomplish anything. It is like Nelson Mandela says in the quote above. It the courage to do things even though we have fear. It is the courage to continue on an unpopular path that will make us stronger.
I am fearful of so many things for next year.
- I am moving on the a new career.
I am taking my brand to Australia.
I am building a new brand.
I have 3 or 4 more books down in my heart.
Every single one of those items makes my heart palpitate. My throat closes up and my knees get weak. This means I have to try to do it all. I have to triumph over my fear. Be courageous and move into what God has for me.
What are you ready to triumph over next year?
You wanna be Justin Beiber’s Girlfriend this holiday season? Me neither.
Short Holiday Season Shop Fast
The holiday rush is in full swing. Black Friday. Black Wednesday. Turkey Thursday. Thanksgivukkah. Well as many are rushing out to stores to get Christmas gifts I have some birthdays to get through this month. Mine (sup, girl), my daughter’s, my childhood best friend, a young cousin, my play sister, and last but not least my ex-sister-in-law is finally a teenager. Yay!
What to get a teen for Christmas?
Short story long, my ex-husband’s sister is turning the whopping 13 on December 4, 2013, and I had no clue what she would want. Well she asked me to take photos of her and her tween friends at her birthday party, and that is how I will be spending my Saturday. But I thought beyond providing tween photo love (like they need anymore have you seen a 13 year olds Instagram? It is bananas). She also needed a gift.
She is not necessarily old enough for makeup. Clothes could go either way, but fragrance is something a newly minted teen would love to have, and you get to tell people you smell good because you are Justin Bieber’s Girlfriend. Take that Selena Gomez. I get to smell like you did earlier this year. Maybe it is Selena sweat squeezed into a bottle. Anywhoo, the fragrance comes in a cute gift set. I searched a million Walmarts to find it (like 4), waiting on hold for about 28 minutes at another, and after digging and picking through the wreckage of Black Friday I was victorious. I found it! Honestly, my mom found it, and like Dora says, “We did it!” Well thanks be to God. I can finally spread a little birthday pre-Christmas cheer to a girl I’ve watched grow up. She is a sweet girl, and does good in school. I think if she wants to be Justin Beiber’s girlfriend for her birthday then, why should I be the one to stop her.
The gift set of Justin Beiber’s Girlfriend and several other Elizabeth Arden frangrance giftsets come with a free celebrity ringtone. It was priced affordably at $19.88 which was less than the fragrance alone.
Now people will think it is Justin calling because you smell like his girlfriend. Teenage life is hard you might as well smell good.
This is a great giftset idea for any teen or tween girl on your Christmas or Thanksgivukkah list. Do you have someone on your list that is difficult to buy for? Tell me who in the comments let me help you decide. Check out the rest of the Elizabeth Arden Collection at Walmart. I am super excited to give this Scent Savings gift to her.
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